The Expressive Creatrix (and Hobbyist)

{November 2, 2011}   Wow, Long Time No Blog!

Yes, okay, I’m sorry.  I admit it. I have woefully and inexcusably neglected this blog (and also my other one).  It’s been over 4 months.  Well, really, no matter. I don’t think a ton of people read this anyway, so it’s more or less for my own entertainment.  🙂

No excuses other than I guess I just haven’t felt like “talking.”  The months have flown by.  Things are the same, things are completely different.  I won’t even try to catch you up. 

The one totally life-changing event worth mentioning is the death of my beloved son Tanner on October 1, 2011.  God, I love that boy, and I miss him so much.  Grief has been hard, and I know I still have a forest to get through, but I am coming to terms with it.  Actually, since the start I’ve been at peace with it from the perspective that I have faith.  Faith that Tanner is in a better place; faith that he hasn’t left me, I just can’t physically see him – he’s in my heart, my soul, the air, the wind, the sun, the birds, the love of family, the kindnesses of friends  – everywhere; faith that there is a reason why he is no longer physically here on Earth (and knowledge that I may never in this lifetime know that reason); and faith that I will see my son again.  The grief part has more or less been about my little human self and its selfish desires – I grieve for what I lost.  I grieve for myself.  I know that Tanner has gained so much.  But the peace comes, and the peace goes and the tears come and then the peace returns. It’s a cycle I’m sure I’ll keep repeating for quite some time.  I’ll never say “goodbye,” my boy, instead, “I’ll see you later.”  I love you.

Okay, I won’t mention everything I’ve been doing these past four months.  In a nutshell –

Knitting – Yes, yes, yes!  I’m on a roll.  Making a lot of things, trying new things, learning new things.  It’s a really great adventure.  My Ravelry page is where I keep track of my stuff.  I won’t be mentioning every little thing here., but I will post thoughts and pictures from time to time.  

Reading – Yep!  Still sticking with my historical fiction, although I recently read a non-HF book, The Lovely Bones, which I thought was boring.  I rarely like anything contemporary.  It’s back to HF.  After finishing Sharon Kay Penman’s Henry II/Eleanor of Aquitaine trilogy last month (F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S), I’ve moved on to ancient Egypt and am currently reading Child of the Morning by Pauline Gedge which is about Egypt’s only female pharaoh, Queen Hatshepsut.  (No, Cleopatra was not a pharaoh, although she was a mighty powerful ruler.)

Fitness – After spending about 4 months slacking in both the exercise and eating departments (I totally went through a summer slump), I feel like I’ve lost a lot of tone and gained back much of the belly flab I lost while doing Flat Belly Diet and Tracy Anderson’s Metamorphosis last February through June.  I don’t look bad, and I haven’t lost much ground; I’m just farther away again from the “ideal” I have stuck in my head all the time.  I guess this fall when I was just thinking about cracking down after a summer spent slacking, Tanner died, and I just have had a hard time getting back o schedule.  Knitting seems to be my preferred activity, and often other areas of my life suffer for it!  Yes, I’ll admit it.  I obsess. 

Hooping – Yikes, not so much!  My hooping went by the wayside several months ago, and I just haven’t been motivated to get my hoop on.  I really want to though. I don’t want to be done hooping. I need to work it in and get back to a regular practice. 

Okay, so that’s it for now.  Just a “yeah, I’m back” post, and I hope to be a bit more consistent here again, but . . . no promises!


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